Panda Bites Man, Man Bites Panda

According to a BBC News story, after partaking in a number of adult beverages while riding the train to the Beijing Zoo, 35-year-old Zhang Xinyan got an overwhelming urge to cuddle a live Panda. When Zhang arrived at the zoo, he jumped over a waist-high railing and entered the pen of six-year-old Gu Gu, where he proceeded to give the panda a hug.

Gu Gu was far from pleased, and he returned Zhang's affectionate gesture by biting the man on both his legs. Not one to be bullied by a burly bamboo-eating fur-ball, Zhang bit the panda on his back. Fortunately for Gu Gu, his fur was too thick for Zhang's incisors to draw blood.

In a statement to the Beijing Morning Post, Zhang expressed his confusion over Gu Gu's rejection of him. "No one ever said they would bite people," he said. "I just wanted to touch it."

Gu Gu was unavailable for comment, but an anonymous source said the panda was "deeply offended" by Zhang's romantic overtures. The source also said the panda was "seriously considering" filing a civil lawsuit.