No place like gnome

A Bruges man has started a petition to protest at the sale of "gnome
paté" in health-food shops in Belgium. Johan Deprez described the
foodstuff as "disgraceful" and called for sales to be banned. A
petition on his website has already gathered 23 signatures.

Meanwhile a spokesperson for the manufacturer Food and Freedom
defended the product, pointing out that it contains only
meat-substitutes and mushrooms. "There are no puréed gnomes in our
pots," said commercial director Edith Gones. "It might have been more
accurate to call it Gnome-House Paté," she admitted.

Quod erat remonstrandum

A Ghent judge has been told off by the Cassation Court, the highest in
Belgium, for using a little-known Latin phrase in his judgement. The
case was brought by two criminals who were being sentenced by the
judge when in his remarks he used the phrase "quod non" -- which means
"which is not the case". In a desperate attempt to have the judgement
overturned they appealed to the Cassation Court. The bench rejected
the appeal to overthrow the verdict, but remonstrated with the judge
for using a phrase "which does not belong to the vocabulary of the
Dutch language, and will not be understood by everyone".

Elsewhere in Flanders, police arrested 44-year-old Steven Chance, real
name, Bruce Peck, on charges of theft as he was leaving an Ostend
theatre after making an appearance in a show -- as an escape artist.
He was sentenced to one year, and seems to be still inside for the
time being.

Wot, no fat lady?

A football match only officially finishes when the referee says so, an
Antwerp judge has ruled. The appeal court judge was ruling in a case
brought by a gambler who stood to win €10,000 on the result as it
stood at the end of the regulation 90 minutes. But the referee allowed
play to continue, and another goal was scored, wiping the man's
winnings out at a stroke. After consulting the official rules of FIFA,
the judge refused to intervene, and ruled that the ref's final whistle
is the only official end to the game. And the unlucky gambler can now
whistle too, for his lost winnings.

Rising from the dead

A woman found murdered in Utrecht, the Netherlands, in 1976 has
admitted she is alive and well and living "somewhere in North
America". Monique Jacobse, now aged 48, disappeared in 1975 from her
home in De Bilt. The following year a body was found which forensic
investigation said was hers -- although one dentist disagreed.

Then in May this year police arrested a local man in connection with
the murder of two prostitutes, and began investigating his links to
the 1976 body. Jacobse somehow got wind of this re-opening of her
disappearance, and turned herself in. The real identity of the body
found in 1976 may never be known.