For the LORD thy GOD is a comedy GOD

A Pentecostalist pastor in Libreville, which is in Gabon, which is in Africa, took it into his head to do as the LORD did, and walk on water. He set off to stroll the aquatic high road from Pointe Denis beach, only to sink beneath the briny surface and drown.

So not quite as Jesus did it, then.

But that's nothing. I once had a vision I would die and be raised the third day, and I got myself crucified and stabbed in the side. And as I was lying in my tomb waiting for an angel to come and roll away the stone, nothing happened. And I'm still there, dead for all eternity, stuck in that undiscover'd country "from whose bourne no traveller returns" as the Bard has it.

I'm only kidding about the last bit, actually. I did have a vision, but it was that I would vanquish hay-fever, not death. The rest is just plain made-up.