Friday, February 29

Sofa King Chicken

A Pennsylvania convenience-store chain is taking heat from critics who say its new billboard campaign promoting a fried chicken sandwich contains foul language.

Sheetz unveiled the "Crispy Frickin' Chicken" billboards at the beginning of this month. Spokeswoman Monica Jones says about one-third of the company's 346 stores carry the sandwich, and the campaign consists of 100 billboards placed near those locations.

Jones says the campaign is aimed at young adults, and the company didn't intend to offend anyone.

Altoona-based Sheetz recently removed one billboard in Hazle Township, near Hazleton, after local officials fielded complaints.

Jones says the remaning billboards will come down next Wednesday, when the campaign is scheduled to end.

Sheetz operates stores in Maryland, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Virginia and West Virginia.


Fowl Language - FOX News

Thursday, February 28

More nutty burglars

Over the past week, burglars have run rampant in one East Lake neighborhood, but now they have gone too far.

"I'm just so sick of it and tired of it," said William Roper. "I'm not gonna take it anymore."

The bad guys got his house on 34th Street Sunday night. They took guns, money, jewelry, even the lighted top off a fish tank. But,that is not all. "My underwear. They stole my underwear," he admits.

It gets worse. Crooks also took Rainbow, Roper's Amazon parrot. "The shotguns, the change, the jewelry, I don't want any of that back. I want my bird back," said Roper. "That bird we've had for 12 years. It's like a member of the family and it's just crazy that anyone would want to steal that."

WRCB TV

Who's a really pretty boy?

MONTREAL–Slick thieves have been targeting parrots, stealing them from Quebec homes with surgical precision while leaving behind valuable jewellery, electronics and even cash.

The thefts are aimed at a global black market in rare exotic birds.

This winter, thieves crawled through windows to get into two households in St-Jean-sur-Richelieu. They used pillowcases to bag birds in lightning-quick break-ins.

"It's clearly part of a big racket," said Yvon Girard, who lost a $4,000 Amazon parrot named Tommy and a macaw named Sonny, along with three purebred chihuahuas.

"It's unbelievable. They could have cleaned out the house, but they didn't even bother searching."

TheStar.com

Wednesday, February 27

Be prepared

A school near Bridgend has sparked outrage after pupils were ordered to write imaginary suicide notes in class, it emerged today.

Students aged just 13 were told to carry out the exercise in an English lesson in order to "get into the mind of a troubled teenager".

The school is situated just a few miles from the South Wales borough of Bridgend, an area which has been struck by a string of apparent hangings by young people.

Daily Mail

Say hello to Hagar the Fashionable

LONDON (Reuters) - Vikings were much snappier dressers than thought, according to new evidence unearthed by a Swedish researcher.

The men were especially vain while the women dressed provocatively, adorning themselves in vivid colours, silk ribbons and glittering bits of mirrors, said Annika Larsson, a textile researcher at Uppsala University in Sweden.

Reuters.com

Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Six people have been killed in three days by icicles falling from buildings in a central Russian region, ITAR-TASS news agency reported Tuesday.

Plummeting chunks of ice is an annual hazard for pedestrians in Russia during the spring when the sun finally melts thick layers of ice and snow which build up on roofs over months of freezing temperatures and darkness.

Reuters

Criminal mastermind

An elderly German who hid a stolen suit under his clothes was caught because he forgot to take it off the hanger, police said.

A sales assistant at a men's outfitter in the western city of Aachen noticed the hanger bulging out when the man told her he had decided against buying anything.

Stuff.co.nz

Down, boy

A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday.

The boy and girl, ages 5 and 7, watched as the scrub python devoured their silky terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed Monday at their home near Kuranda in Queensland state.

CBS News

Paging Simon Cowell

Kyrgyz rights activists will offer a prize of up to $1000 in a contest for the "best song" to protest against the presence of US troops in the Central Asian republic, the event's organiser said.

Igor Trofimov, a rights campaigner spearheading the anti-airbase movement which groups a few dozen activists, said the author of the best song would perform at a rally outside the US embassy in April.

Stuff.co.nz

Tuesday, February 26

Room service

This story has got it all:

A judge has denied an Iowa man's claim that he shouldn't have been fired for repeatedly requesting help to procure a prostitute.

Neil Jorgensen, 62, of Kalona, worked at Riverside Casino and Golf Resort in Riverside and was given a gift certificate and free night's stay at the casino hotel to mark a year's employment.

After eating and drinking at a casino restaurant, he returned to his hotel room about midnight and later called hotel managers about hiring a prostitute. When managers refused to help him, he made a call to the adjacent resort and made the same request.

"The advertisement is that it's just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas," Jorgensen testified at a hearing regarding his request for unemployment benefits.

Hotel workers were sent to Jorgensen's room to ask him to stop demanding prostitutes. When they arrived at his room, Jorgensen answered the door in the nude, human resources director Tim Donovan said.

Jorgensen was fired the next day.

At the hearing, Jorgensen said his actions didn't hurt the casino, and he said he'd received strong performance reviews. He also blamed the restaurant for serving him too much alcohol.

"I was absolutely plowed," he said.

Administrative Law Judge Terence Nice turned down Jorgensen's claim for unemployment benefits.

CBS News

More shooz

Police dogs in the German city of Duesseldorf are being fitted out with blue rubber shoes to protect their paws while walking the beat.

Stuff.co.nz

One for Miz UV

NEW YORK, Feb. 24 (UPI) -- British designer Antonio Berardi has released a pricey, 5 1/2-inch, heel-less high-heel shoe in the United States, England and elsewhere.

The shoe, which places all of the weight on a thick toe wedge and eliminates the need for a heel, sells for $3,600 a pair.

UPI.com

Here's what they look like:

Look right, look left, look right again

VICTORIA, British Columbia, Feb. 25 (UPI) -- Police in Victoria, British Columbia, were alerted by startled motorists to a car on the Trans Canada Highway with a naked man and two naked women having sex.

UPI.com

Money quote:

On arrival, only one of the women was inside with the male driver, both in their 20s, the report said. The unidentified driver said he had dropped the other woman off.

"Both were determined to be in the nude," [Officer] Rice said.

You want fivers with that?

HSBC has been forced to defend its security procedures for the third time after a customer found his branch open on a Saturday and then became locked in.

Jay Whitmarsh wandered into the deserted branch with his dog on Saturday morning, thinking staff had just nipped round the back for a moment.

Only when the door slammed behind him, locking him in, did he realise that the bank was actually closed but had been left unlocked by mistake.

Daily Mail

Asshole in the making

TAMPA PALMS, Fla., Feb. 25 (UPI) -- A Florida woman says the elaborate first birthday bash she threw for her son -- with pony rides, a magician and nearly 60 guests -- was about creating memories.

Sheila Chapman of Tampa said the scale of the party, which she conceded may seem excessive to some, was aimed at making the event memorable to her firstborn child, "Prince" Clayburn Reed, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Monday.

UPI.com

Fish can count to four

Fish can count, according to scientists, who have found that North American mosquito fish have the ability to count up to four.

Previously it was known that fish could tell big shoals from small ones, but researchers have now found that they have a limited ability to count how many other fish are nearby.

This means that they have similar counting abilities to those observed in apes, monkeys and dolphins and humans with very limited mathematical ability.

Telegraph

MCN says: This means they are unable to count their own fingers. Fish fingers, geddit?

Also: Screw loose

DANBURY, Conn., Feb. 25 (UPI) -- Police in Danbury, Conn., said an intoxicated driver who lost control of his vehicle and struck a stop sign was unaware that his car was missing a wheel.

Jeffrey Ho, 24, was charged with drunken driving and reckless driving after police arrived at the scene of the collision at about 3:15 a.m. Sunday, the (Danbury, Conn.) News-Times reported Monday.

Officers said they began searching for Ho's car after a grocery store employee phoned authorities to report that a car leaving the store's parking lot was missing a wheel.

Lt. Shaun McColgan said Ho, who was behind the wheel of the car when police arrived, admitted to being intoxicated, but said it did not matter because "he 'wasn't driving.'"

UPI.com

Monday, February 25

Wanted: Monk to fill position of "Grasshopper"

A Monk was killed when he was run over by his own sit-on lawnmower as he trimmed the grass at a convent, an inquest heard.

Moments before, the 50-year-old was seen running after the driverless machine as it set off in the 12-acre grounds of a peace temple.

The Milton Keynes coroner heard that 10 years earlier, Rev Seiji Handa had lost three fingers in another lawnmower accident.

Telegraph

Parrot eats false leg

HE nibbled it, he tossed it aside, he hung from the top of his cage and looked at it, and then... he ate it.

But one-legged parrot George showed little initial interest in putting his stump into his newly-made `false leg'.

Manchester Evening News

Stiff upper lip

An elderly couple who had a lucky escape after a plane landed in their garden told their unexpected guests "thanks for dropping in".

Plane crashes into couple's garden - Telegraph

Another great quote:

"But it has made quite an impression in the conifers, very modern gardening. You'd pay a lot of money to buy something that looked like that at the Chelsea Flower Show."

Monkey marriage

Bhadrak: At first glance, it looks like any other Hindu wedding in Orissa — a grand marriage procession, hundreds of well-wishers, and lots of upbeat music.

But that's where the similarities end. The groom in the wedding is a little monkey named Manu, and awaiting his arrival is his monkey bride-to-be — two-year old Jhumri.

Jhumri's self-appointed guardians in Bhadrak found her abandoned when she was just a newborn in a village temple, and vowed to get her married in the same shrine.

Says her guardian, Mamina, "I feel as if my own daughter is getting married. I feel sad that Jhumri will no long stay with us."

A marriage proposal was duly sent to a neighboring village, where Manu was being raised by another couple. Animal lovers in the district welcome the marriage because it will mean freedom for the newly weds.

Says an animal lover, Kanhu Kishore Sahoo, "The two monkeys were kept captive in their respective houses. No matter what the reason, we thought with our cooperation if they could be set free then we should help them out. So we conducted the marriage."

As for the bride and groom, they are all set to spend their honeymoon in the sprawling five-acre Jagannath temple in the village.

Source

Party like you're 999

Pop legend Prince is having a secret HIP REPLACEMENT at the age of just 49—after being crippled by years of sexy dancing.

The pint-sized US star would develop a severe limp and have to use a WALKING STICK without surgery.

News of the World

What a way to go

An inquest is to be held on a man who died during a contest to see who could eat the most fairy cakes.

BBC NEWS

Sunday, February 24

Somebody needs IT help -- stat

Man Shot Five Times by Woman He Met on Romance Chat Line

Breitbart.tv

Must have great eyes -- even through glasses

Guys, having trouble meeting chicks? Cheer up. It could always be worse. Check out Ataru.

UPDATE: Sorry, that was a bit unnecessarily mean of me. Guy's harmless, who am I to be so superior?

Link to something nice

Not such a bad guy after all?

The director of a Norwegian museum claimed yesterday to have discovered cartoons drawn by Adolf Hitler during the Second World War.

William Hakvaag, the director of a war museum in northern Norway, said he found the drawings hidden in a painting signed "A. Hitler" that he bought at an auction in Germany.

 

Daily Telegraph

Fur and feathers fly

A mind-bending tale of the dog who ate the parrot, and the NBA star's wife who wants only revenge. Full story at the link below is a must-read.

"Meister bolted out of the room," Jenny said. "I went in and there were little feathers all over the place."

Jenny was so distraught she had her mom, Debbie, call Peggy V. It did not go well.

"We were in a coffee shop, and when she heard the news she screamed 'Jenny killed Sweet Cheeks!' " Amy said. "People in line thought someone had died."

Jenny said Peggy asked her to put the bird's remains in a plastic bag. She managed to find half a beak, a foot and some feathers.

Crime scenes are never pretty. Neither is the fallout.

Denver Post

Life begins for twins

The five orangutans at the Woodland Park Zoo were taking part Saturday in the 40th birthday celebration of two of them — the twins Towan and Chinta.

With the two males weighing in at about 310 pounds each (with the estimated strength of six men, and arms spanning 7 feet) and the three females at about half that weight, this was a birthday as only apes could have one. They all got presents, and they all tore them apart.

Seattle Times

Saturday, February 23

Caerphilly does it

A statue of the comic Tommy Cooper is set to be unveiled in his hometown - just like that - by Hollywood star Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Cooper - thought by many to be the greatest comedian of his generation - was born in Caerphilly, south Wales.

BBC NEWS | UK | Wales | Tommy Cooper statue unveiling due

MCN says: Here's one of the many video clips on YouTube, most of which sadly are of pretty pisspoor quality. This is the famous glass-bottle-bottle-glass trick.

"A bigger boy made me do it"

ALBUQUERQUE, Feb. 22 (UPI) -- The Baby Face Bandit bank robber in Albuquerque was arrested after his mother reported him to police, a report said.

The mother of Carlos Lueras, 28 -- known by authorities for his youthful face -- called police after seeing him on television, billboards and the news, the Albuquerque Journal reported.

UPI.com

Unbalanced parrot

A PARROT who likes to say ‘bloody hell’ will have more cause to be cheerful now that he’s being fitted with a prosthetic device for his missing leg to help him sleep.

The false leg will be fitted by University of Salford experts after George, an African grey parrot, lost his leg when he was attacked in his aviary by a wild animal 18 months ago.

Salford Advertiser

Low-cost vote-rigging

TITUSVILLE, Fla., Feb. 22 (UPI) -- A brouhaha has reportedly erupted in the race for a Florida state House seat after one of the candidates mailed postage stamps to voters.

The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Friday that Democratic Party officials are accusing Republican candidate Sean Campbell of violating a state election law by mailing stamps to voters. Campbell reportedly urged voters to use the free stamps to mail in their absentee ballots for Tuesday's election.

Not much to fuss over, you would think, but of course the opposition saw its chance:

"How is this different from walking door-to-door and giving people two quarters to vote for you?" Schale was quoted as saying. "Is that OK?"

Every man has his price. In Florida, it seems, that price is remarkably low.

UPI.com

Nice work if you can get it

Job: Teenage Pregnancy Implementation Manager, MANCHESTER CITY COUNCIL

  • Employer: MANCHESTER CITY COUNCIL
  • Posted: 19 Feb 2008
  • Reference: NB50418967/11
  • Location: Greater Manchester
  • Industry: Government - Local government
  • Contract: Contract
  • Hours: Full Time
  • Salary: £29,728 to £33,291

Guardian Jobs

No smokes without firemen

MERRIMACK, N.H., Feb. 22 (UPI) -- Police in Merrimack, N.H., said a woman who demanded a ride home from a fire truck crew stole cigarettes from a convenience store earlier that same day.

UPI.com

The Naked Ape

Newborn Cinder had a beautiful, full coat of hair.  Nothing unusual, baby chimpanzees are born with hair, but what followed was unusual.  When she was about five months old, we noticed that Cinder was losing some hair. She continued to lose her hair and in a definite pattern, first from her lower body and gradually extending up until after close to a year, Cinder was completely bald.

Cinder :: Saint Louis Zoo

How could you resist?

Gorilla_playing_saxophone_with_ball

TheMishMash.com

Friday, February 22

Down boy

AZUSA, Calif. -- Doggone it, my truck's gone!

Police said Charles McCowan parked his pickup in front of a mini-mart Wednesday, leaving his 80-pound Boxer named Max in the passenger seat. When he came out, the truck and Max were gone.

McCowan called police, assuming the truck had been stolen. When officers arrived, they found the pickup across the street in a fast-food parking lot but had no idea how it got there.

In security video shown Thursday on KCAL-TV, the truck can be seen rolling backward out of the store lot and across the street, threading its way through traffic and out of view.

Police said that after McCowan left the truck, Max knocked the vehicle out of gear and sent it rolling backward.

Both Max and the truck emerged without a scratch.

MiamiHerald.com

Are Women Human?

LONDON (Reuters) - They may not leap off the shelves into the best-seller category, but the books shortlisted for the oddest book title prize certainly grab the attention.

"I was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen" recounts the tale of a fictional U.S. World War Two fighter pilot who is captured by jungle pygmies led by a sadistic woman.

Its sequel, which is not on the shortlist released by trade publication The Bookseller (www.thebookseller.com) Friday, needs no explanation: "Go Ahead, Woman, Do Your Worst."

More nutty titles

Barely legal

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese man was arrested for trespassing this week after turning up at a high school dressed in a girl's uniform and a long wig, local police said.

Reuters

Looking up the fundamentals

Italian researchers have found that women who claim to experience vaginal orgasms in the so-called G spot are anatomically different from those who do not.

They say this opens up the prospect that a simple ultrasound may show whether a woman should keep pursuing the elusive G spot orgasm, or abandon the search.

Stuff.co.nz

This little piggy went to market

In what they say is a last-ditch attempt to save the Uk's pork industry, dozens of pig farmers gathered in London aiming for an Internet hit with their song "Stand by your Ham".

Stuff.co.nz

Link to download song

Two-faced kitten dies

AMARILLO, Texas, Feb. 21 (UPI) -- A two-faced kitten in Amarillo, Texas, died just one day after he was born, the kitten's owner said.

Link

MCN says: Rather a harsh judgment on such a tiny innocent creature.

Support your local police force

ANDERSON, S.C., Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Anderson County, S.C., authorities said a man was arrested after he parked a stolen convertible outside the County Sheriff's Office.

Link

The stamps wouldn't stay stuck

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla., Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Authorities in West Palm Beach, Fla., have arrested a man accused of trying to mail roosters to Puerto Rico for illegal cockfights.

Link

Lion no longer rampant

STOCKHOLM, Sweden, Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Heraldists at Sweden's National Archives said the Nordic Battlegroup's decision to remove the penis from a lion depicted on its coat of arms violates copyright.

Link

Good thing it wasn't a proctology lesson

UPPSALA, Sweden, Feb. 21 (UPI) -- A lecturer at Sweden's Uppsala University has been found guilty of assault after he slapped a student during a medical demonstration.

The female student said she was asked by the lecturer to lie on her back in front of the about 70 students in her class as part of a demonstration on how to check a patient's level of consciousness, The Local reported Thursday.

The student said the lecturer then proceeded to slap her several times in the face with enough force that her cheeks remained red two hours later when she reported the incident to school administrators.

The lecturer said in court that the slapping was part of an educational demonstration. However, he was convicted of assault by Uppsala District Court and ordered to pay a fine.

Link

AdSense NonSense

Ads spotted right next to each other (links redacted): 

5 Minute Speed Reading
Double Reading Speed, Double Memory In Only 5 Minutes...Guaranteed!
www.5MinuteLearningMachine.com

Beat Bad Reading Habits
and read twice as fast Speed reading software-free trial
www.speedreading.com/software

Speed Reading
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The-SpeedReading.Info

A bridge too far

CHEB, Czech Republic, Feb. 21 (UPI) -- Police in Cheb, Czech Republic, said they were investigating the disappearance of a four-ton iron bridge from a rail line.

UPI.com

Holy snackfood

EUGENE, Ore., Feb. 21 (UPI) -- A Eugene, Ore., radio DJ is helping sell a pretzel on eBay that allegedly resembles the Virgin Mary -- and bidding on the item has approached $100 million.

As of 6:43 p.m. PST Thursday, the top bid for the pretzel was $99,000,100.

UPI.com

Perhaps they should check Mom's batteries

The Bowman family, of Lithia, Fla., said an Elmo doll belonging to their 2-year-old son, James, began to spout death threats towards him after they changed its batteries, TBO.com reports.

The Elmo Knows Your Name Doll started saying "Kill James!" in a sing-song voice, the site reports.

"It's not something that really you would think would ever come out of a toy," James' mother, Melissa, told the site. "But once I heard, I was just kind of distraught."


Elmo Doll Threatens to Kill Toddler - FOX News

Not doing the math

It now costs the U.S. Mint almost two cents to make a penny and almost a dime to make a nickel.


Penny Wise? - Yahoo! News

Tough love

[W]hen doctors told him they may have to switch off [his wife's] life-support machine, distraught Dom took drastic action - by giving his wife a firm telling-off.

Dom’s stern words managed to penetrate through the near-fatal coma and Yvonne even remembers him making the impassioned speech, admitting that she “never liked getting told off”.

Dom held Yvonne’s hand and demanded: “You start fighting, don’t you dare give up on me now. I’ve had enough, stop mucking around and start breathing. Come back to me.”

Incredibly, just two hours later, she steadily began to start breathing again.



Miracle Story: A bloody good rollicking - SkyPedia

Thursday, February 21

Good news for gorillas

Efforts to protect the critically endangered mountain gorilla received a big boost yesterday when Rwanda, Uganda and the Democratic Republic of Congo agreed to cooperate on a 10-year conservation plan for the animals.

Only 720 mountain gorillas remain in the wild, all of them in the misty hills of central Africa where the three countries' borders meet. In the past 14 months, at least 10 gorillas have been killed in Congo's Virunga park by rebel fighters and people involved in the illegal charcoal trade.

The Grauniad

Chimpy columnist

Dear Ask the Paperboy,
I love a good chimp custody battle! Thanks for covering the most recent goings-on at Chimp Haven, where the legal battle ensues concerning a Texas judge and the limbo situation of six chimpanzees who have been hanging at Chimp Haven for 14 months while their San Antonio digs were refurbished. Is it hard covering all the chimp news that's fit to print?

Shreveport Times for answers

Babies boot tumour out of womb

Like any thrilled mother to be, Michelle Stepney cherished the first kicks she could feel from her unborn babies.

But her lively twin girls were doing more than simply making their presence felt.

Each little kick was saving their mother's life.

Unknown to her, Mrs Stepney, 35, had developed cervical cancer. Her unborn twins' constant kicking in the womb actually managed to dislodge the tumour.

It was only when Mrs Stepney was taken to hospital with a suspected miscarriage that doctors realised she had cancer.

They told her the babies had saved her life. Without them, the cancer may not have been discovered until it was too late.

Daily Mail

Wednesday, February 20

New donut holder on show

LAKE MARY - Police are trying to find the man in a red Corvette who keeps visiting the Dunkin' Donuts drive-through window while naked from the waist down.

He did it three times Thursday and once Friday, according to store employees.

They didn't get a great description, and they didn't get his license-plate number.

OrlandoSentinel.com

Nice work if you can get it

Shimla: Catching a monkey in Himachal Pradesh would soon a become rewarding endeavour as wildlife officials here are thinking of involving the public and giving them a cash prize for catching the menacing simians.

Sify.com

Tuesday, February 19

Vagina in school paper sparks uproar - UPI.com

LOS ANGELES, Feb. 18 (UPI) -- Students at a Los Angeles high school have protested after school officials confiscated an issue of the school newspaper that featured a diagram of a vagina.

UPI.com

MCN says: The papers have front-page pictures of dickheads all the time, and nobody seems to mind. What's with that?

Funny money

A Phoenix man was caught Monday trying to use counterfeit $100 bills at a local store. The store clerk tells MyFOXPhoenix.com that the money Scott Martin handed him was obviously fake.

The problem? Instead of adorning Benjamin Franklin’s face, these bills showcased Abraham Lincoln, whose face appears on the $5 bill.


Not-So-Clever Counterfeiter Caught - FOX News

Six days shalt thou labour, and on the seventh, more labour

TAMPA - Ybor City's 3-year-old Relevant Church offered a unique challenge to its members Sunday: 30 straight days of sex, or no sex at all.

It's called the 30-Day Sex Challenge. Married couples are expected to have sex at least once a day, every day, for a month. Single people are to abstain from any sexual activity for the same period.

Head pastor Paul Wirth, 39, delivered the challenge to the married couples, citing the statistics: About half of all marriages end in divorce.

Full story

Be on the lookout for a forty-foot turkey

Police have arrested a 32-year-old man they accuse of stealing 217 cases of Pepperidge Farm stuffing mix.

Link

Postman Fat and his black and white cat

Australia's postal service has increased the maximum weight for mailmen and women by 15kg in an attempt to attract more "posties", local media reported.

Stuff.co.nz

Letter to Wife of KMart Offender

kmart

MCN says: Go to the link to check out this hilarious letter. That guy sounds like someone I'd want to get to know.

Incredimazing

UPDATE: Killjoy Snopes.com puts the kybosh on the story. It's not real. But it's still funny. So take that, Snopes.


The toot, the whole toot and nothing but the toot

A woman who said she was relentlessly taunted by colleagues because of chronic flatulence has lost her discrimination claim.

The woman, who cannot be named, claimed she was subjected to cruel jibes from staff at Leeds Metropolitan University because she suffered from severe irritable bowel syndrome.

Sky News

Monday, February 18

Boxer dog

Meet Ringo Tsar - a dog who can pack a knock-out punch with his paws.

Owner Russ Williams has trained the 15-month-old black Russian terrier in the art of kick-boxing.

BBC NEWS

Girls on tap

Next week, Firebox.com is releasing a flask that will give your lady a little extra on top, and a little buzz to go with it.

Source

MCN says: Visit link for tasteful animated graphic.

At the very least she has two spares for breakfast

After Laura Moon started suffering stomach pains, doctors decided to carry out an ultrasound scan on the teenager.

When they saw the results, they were astounded.

For the scan revealed that she had four kidneys. The 18-year-old is now hoping to donate the extra organs for transplant operations.

Daily Mail

At my signal, unleash cake

Daily Mail

Breast implants reject man

Dragon FX tattoo artist Lane Jensen augmented his tattoo of a buxom cowgirl on his leg with actual silicone implants, shown here prior to his body rejecting the foreign objects. (supplied photo)

Edmonton News

The purple dinosaur could not be reached for comment

A man-sized talking rabbit appeared on television in Gaza to denounce Danish newspapers over cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad that offended Muslims.

Stuff.co.nz

DIY opera

LONDON (Reuters) - A packed performance of a West End opera was saved at the weekend when a member of the audience stepped in to sing the lead role after the star lost his voice.

Paul Whelan, 38, saved the English National Opera's production of Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor by singing the part of Raimondo from the wings while bass Clive Bayley, who suffered a chest infection, mimed the part on stage.

Reuters.com

A helping of porridge

NEW YORK -- Spending time behind bars in New York City might turn out to be good for your health.

The overhauled menu at the city's jails includes no sweets, no butter and only skim milk. The Department of Corrections wants healthy alternatives to traditional jailhouse grub.

A breakfast might include fresh fruit, whole wheat bread and wheat flakes. A sample dinner: pepper steak, rice and steamed carrots.

"These people are in our custody, and they don't get to make their own choices," said Department of Correction Commissioner Martin Horn. "We have a moral obligation to make sound choices for them."

MiamiHerald.com

Hobo kitty

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- A cat that fled a house fire is back home in Albuquerque, N.M., after turning up some 240 miles away. The black and white cat named Miko disappeared in December, on the night of the fire.

About two weeks ago, Miko's owner got a call from an animal shelter in Pueblo, Colo., saying her cat was safe.

Officials at the shelter speculate that the cat, trying to keep warm, hopped a tractor-trailer and rode it to Colorado.

MiamiHerald.com

Music by Pooch-ini

The makers of a chart-topping song only audible to dogs say they hope it can become a global hit.

A Very Silent Night - a Christmas number one in New Zealand - raised money for the country's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

A spokesman admitted he did not know how the CD - recorded at a frequency inaudible to humans - sounded to dogs.

BBC NEWS

Art for arse sake

A national dance craze in Ivory Coast has spawned a black market in treatments claiming to increase one's bottom size.

The dance in question has been inspired by DJ Mix and DJ Eloh's hit song Bobaraba, which means "big bottom" in the local Djoula language.

[...]

"We made it as a tribute to women, because African women are defined by the shape of their bottoms," he says.

"Move your bottom, jump, you see, it's alive."

Kady Meite, one of his dancers, says the song is a message for women.

"There are women today with large bottoms who are embarrassed, so it's to say don't be ashamed - be comfortable," she says.

The message seems to have been taken on board - so much so that some women are now going in search of a "bobaraba".

BBC NEWS

Chimp pharmacy

We have known for a long time that animals are able to identify toxic plants and avoid eating them. But can they manage to use plants to heal themselves? Observations made on various chimpanzee groups suggest so:

- During the period when parasites are most abundant, chimpanzees of several African communities roll up hairy plant leaves on their tongues and swallow them without chomping. The analysis of these monkeys' stools revealed the presence of these leaves, which were not digested, but contained worms trapped in the hair. An efficient vermifuge.

- In Tanzania, researchers observed dramatic changes in the behaviour of chimpanzees that showed signs of intestinal discomfort. These animals almost didn't eat anymore, except for stems of a small tree, which are usually not eaten by these monkeys because of their bitter taste.

London Free Press

One Gb (goldfish bowl) of memory

A 15-year-old South Australian school student has busted the myth that goldfish have a three second memory.

Rory Stokes, from the Australian Science and Mathematics School in Adelaide, conducted an experiment to test the commonly held theory that goldfish have short memory spans.

Rory's experiment involved teaching a small group of fish to swim to a beacon by establishing a memory connection between the beacon and food.

He was also keen to open people's minds to the cruelty of keeping fish in small tanks.

LIVENEWS.com.au

Sunday, February 17

Paging Dr House

A GP diagnosed a rare brain tumour just by shaking a man's hand.

BBC HUWS

Saturday, February 16

One more for the road

Dutch customs have seized thousands of impotence pills made in China which may cause heart failure, the Dutch Health Care Inspectorate said.

The pills, presented as herbal remedies, contain up to two and a half times the maximum daily dose of chemical substances used to treat impotence, the Inspectorate said in a statement.

Stuff.co.nz

Just in time for Spring Break

NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Yale students accustomed to competing for straight-A's will be vying for triple X's this weekend as they compete to win a porn-star look-alike contest. It's that time of year again: the return of the Ivy League school's controversial Sex Week.

During eight days of programming, students can learn everything from how to achieve a state beyond bliss to the proper application of personal lubricants.

And it's all free, once mom and dad have covered the $45,000 for room, board and tuition.


Sex Toys 101 - FOX News

MCN wonders if kids in state schools have to make do with a tube of lube and a Barry White CD.

Friday, February 15

Jane Fonda called to say Hi

TOLEDO, Ohio, Feb. 15 (UPI) -- Toledo, Ohio's mayor used a bad word -- or what sounded like a bad word -- in a radio interview the day before his spokesman was suspended for a bad word.

UPI.com

Recipe for marital success

GROVE CITY, Ohio, Feb. 15 (UPI) -- An Ohio woman whose husband was on a business trip got a surprise chance to renew her wedding vows with a silent partner -- a life-size blow-up doll.

Woman renews marriage vows with doll groom - UPI.com

Murder afoot

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - Police have found themselves with the gruesome mystery of why three human feet have washed ashore on islands in the Strait of Georgia on Canada's Pacific coast over the past six months.

Reuters.com

Is that the technical term?

Both the New York Post and New York Daily News have been covering the story of the sad bastard S&M enthusiast who nearly choked to death in a East 33rd Street dungeon.

mediabistro.com

May contain newts

Cheshire County Council is calling for a review of EU legislation after being forced to spend £60,000 to move four newts from a school development site.

Great crested newts are an endangered species and are protected by EU law.

When four were found on land at Fallibroome High School, Macclesfield, they had to be trapped, moved and have a new pond built to house them.

BBC NEWTS

"Quit wasting money on hotlines"

A hotline for people in Manchester to offer suggestions on how the council should spend its £468m budget received one phone call in a month.

BBC NEWS

Just fancy that!

Mayor Michael Bloomberg faces the notorious New York City press corps several times a week, but nothing prepared him for the grilling he got Thursday from a group of third-graders.

CBS News

Followed by:

BALTIMORE, Feb. 14 (UPI) -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg unexpectedly joined the National Rifle Association after receiving a gift membership from an unknown donor, a report said.

Link

Coincidence? Or something more sinister? You be the judge.

God save our gracious chav

Prince William, the second in line to the throne, dropped in for a celebratory dinner at a curry house in York this week - along with 47 of his friends.

Mohammed Nisar, the owner of the Saffron Desi Indian restaurant, was gob smacked when the royal walked in, but reckons he handled it all very calmly.

"I said welcome to the Saffron Desi, would you like a drink," Nisar told Reuters.

"He said he'd like a cider and I brought him a bottle of Strongbow. He was very polite. They were all very polite.

"Everyone in the restaurant and the kitchen was very excited."

The crowd ordered a vast selection from Nisar's menu, with William ordering a chicken dish called the Royal Delight.

By the end of the evening, the bill was a whopping 1,300 pounds, picked up by one of William's friends.

Shockingly, the party didn't leave a tip but Nisar said he wasn't bothered.

Stuff.co.nz

Psst: Preschool kids have that effect on all of us

KOSKULLSKULLE, Sweden, Feb. 14 (UPI) -- A Koskullskulle, Sweden, preschool, trying to spare an employee migraine headaches, has barred students from wearing striped or polka-dot clothing.

School officials said the employee's headaches are set off by looking at multicolored clothing, The Local reported Thursday.

UPI.com

The defensh resh, yonner

REDMOND, Wash., Feb. 14 (UPI) -- A Redmond, Wash., judge postponed a hearing in a drunken driving case after the defendant showed up in court intoxicated.

UPI.com

Christaliban nuttery

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) -- Kansas activities officials are investigating a religious school's refusal to let a female referee call a boys' high school basketball game.

The Kansas State High School Activities Association said referees reported that Michelle Campbell was preparing to officiate at St. Mary's Academy near Topeka on Feb. 2 when a school official insisted that Campbell could not call the game.

The reason given, according to the referees: Campbell, as a woman, could not be put in a position of authority over boys because of the academy's beliefs.

SI.com

Thursday, February 14

Mental chimp drummer wins case

HE was accused of drumming like "a chimpanzee on speed" but original Mental As Anything drummer has today been vindicated, winning his wrongful dismissal case against the band.

NEWS.com.au

Original Nuts

Monkey misbehaviour

MCN says: Gotta love that Times of India prose. Here's the full story, exceptionally, just because it's so good.

 

LUCKNOW: In a freak incident, monkey menace on Gomati barrage surfaced with a totally new dimension on Wednesday morning giving a housewife a very close shave with death.

Incidents of monkey gangs striking at the roadside stalls near the Gomati barrage to feast on the fruits are no longer a rare occurrence. But the monkey menace emerged with a unexpected shade around 7 am on Wednesday when a woman - later identified as middle-aged Rashmi, a resident of Gokhale Marg - reached the barrage to perform puja before the rising Sun. The woman had barely started with the rituals when a group of monkeys began closing in on her. Familiar with the atmosphere, the woman paid no heed to the four legged unwanted companion.

But things took a turn for the worse when one of the monkeys began to approach her. In order to scare away the monkey, the woman raised her hand. The monkey retaliated by charging at her. The panic struck lady, standing right besides the steel railing of the barrage, was so badly shaken that she lost her balance, toppled over the steel railing and fell into the river.

Luckily, there were a few boatmen fishing in the river who saw the mishap and jumped into the freezing waters to save the woman, who was by then crying for help. Finally, two boatmen managed to rescue the woman safely to the banks of the river.

She was then rushed to Lohia Hospital where the doctors attended her. A visibly shaken and badly shivering Rashmi spend at least an hour at the hospital before she was discharged.

Times of India

I shag NY

NEW YORK -- The official New York City condom has a different look and a sexy new slogan: New Yorkers are being encouraged to "get some" on Valentine's Day.

Street teams will be handing out the free condoms at busy hubs around the city on Thursday, including Times Square, Wall Street and near City Hall.

And an ad campaign on television, radio and subways and buses will soon begin, featuring the catch phrase.

MiamiHerald.com

Paging Terry Schiavo

LAKE ELMO, Minn., Feb. 13 (UPI) -- A Minnesota woman mysteriously awoke from a coma after her family had begun making funeral arrangements and saying their last goodbyes, a report said.

UPI.com

No seriously trust us, we already saw the longest ever

NEW YORK, Feb. 13 (UPI) -- The World Famous Comic Strip Live comedy show in New York is set to break a Guinness World Record for being the longest stand-up show ever.

UPI.com

Hilarious TEFL

Chumble Spuzz!

A colleague of ours found this set of building blocks to help children learn English. One of the things that is so amazing about teaching English as a foreign language is that it forces you to rethink components of English you take for granted and experience the language in a completely new way. With that in mind, try to remember back…far back…to yourself at a more innocent time.

Chumble Spuzz! » peer-see

Wednesday, February 13

Asshole vs. Asshole

MILWAUKEE , Feb. 12 (UPI) -- The lawyer for a man accused of making a woman violently ill by feeding her a caustic fluid argued in a Milwaukee court that she chose to drink it.

Joseph Reback, an attorney for Sean Kobin, said in his opening statement in Milwaukee County Circuit Court that the woman decided to take Kobin's dare to drink the fluid, which contained sodium hydroxide, after months of joking between the two about the stunts performed on MTV's "Jackass," the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reported Tuesday.

Reback said the dare was the woman's idea.

UPI.com

Can't get you outta my phone

TORQUAY , England, Feb. 13 (UPI) -- A British woman was banned from contacting her ex-boyfriend after she sent him 10,783 text messages in 65 days.

Lee Armor, 23, allegedly sent Timothy Mortimore, 25, a text or video message every eight minutes for more than two months after he broke up with her, The Mirror reported Wednesday.

UPI.com

Renaissance filth

LONDON, Feb. 13 (UPI) -- The London Underground has decided not to allow a Royal Academy of Arts poster to be displayed at stations because it depicts a naked Venus.

Transportation officials said the portrait, created by 16th-century artist Lucas Cranach the Elder, was barred from the train stations due to fears that it may violate advertising guidelines on sex and nudity, The Daily Mail reported Wednesday.

UPI.com

Cruel and unusual

UK local government authorities are considering a Sydney council's "Manilow method" for dispersing unruly teens as an option for tackling anti-social behaviour in Britain.

Campaigners this week called for a ban on a device in use across the UK known as The Mosquito, which emits a high-pitched tone audible only to the young.

Local Government Association (LGA) head of news Richard Stokoe said his organisation was examining an alternative, introduced by Rockdale Council in 2006.

The council, in Sydney's southern suburbs, played Barry Manilow tunes over loudspeakers to stop youths hanging around.

Stuff.co.nz

Dirigible homicide

LONDON (Reuters) - A London artist who created a huge inflatable sculpture that killed two women after it broke its moorings and flew into the air in a Northern England park has been charged with manslaughter, police said on Wednesday.

Reuters.com

Sweet thang

New York City street performer "The Naked Cowboy" is suing Mars Inc. for $6 million (3 million pounds) over the use of his trademark look -- white underwear, cowboy boots and a hat -- by a blue M&M candy on a Times Square billboard.

Reuters.com

UPDATE: In the battle of Times Square, the Naked Cowboy appears to have won the first round as his animated candy nemesis - dressed in the guitar slinger's trademark white hat, boots and underwear - quietly disappeared from two video billboards.

Link

Fattest man loses two fat men

The world's fattest man, according to the Guinness Book of Records, proudly announced Tuesday he dropped 230 kilograms (570 pounds), nearly half his original weight in less time than doctors had expected.

"I'm going to throw a big party," Manuel Uribe told AFP by telephone. "I'm getting out of my house and going for a walk" in Monterrey, where he lives in northern Mexico.

Link

Valentine bandit

OLATHE, Kan. -- A local shopping strip mall was evacuated Tuesday night after a woman robbed a bank with a box of chocolate.

A woman carrying flowers and a box of candy walked up to a teller at the Capitol Federal Bank in the SuperTarget store at West 119th Street and Blackbob Road, police said.

She told the teller the box contained an explosive and demanded money.

The woman got away with an undisclosed amount of money.

KCTV Kansas City

Life imitates Sopranos

NEW YORK — Police have identified the 56-year-old psychologist who was hacked to death with a meat cleaver at her office on Manhattan's Upper East Side.

Police were searching for a male suspect in the Tuesday night killing of Kathryn Faughey at her office on East 79th Street. She lived across the street.

Police say a male therapist who attempted to assist Faughey during the attack was also seriously injured with cuts to his face and was taken to New York-Presbyterian Hospital Weill/Cornell. He has not been identified.

Police could not confirm whether the suspect was one of Faughey's patients.

Faughey, a licensed psychologist, practiced cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses on changing thoughts that cause feelings or behaviors.


New York Psychologist Hacked to Death in Meat Cleaver Attack at Her Office - FOX News

Torture conditions revealed

The admissions made by the men -- who were given food whenever they were hungry as well as Starbucks coffee at the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba -- played a key role in the government's decision to proceed with the prosecutions, military and law enforcement officials said.

washingtonpost.com

(emphasis added)

Tuesday, February 12

I can haz pink cupcake?

RIYADH (Reuters) - Saudi Arabia's religious police have banned red roses ahead of Valentine's Day, forcing couples in the conservative Muslim nation to think of new ways to show their love.

The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice has ordered florists and gift shop owners in the capital Riyadh to remove any items colored scarlet, which is widely seen as symbolizing love, newspapers said.


No red roses for Saudi sweethearts - Yahoo! News

Pass the dutchie from the left-hand side, amen

KINGSTON, Jamaica - Jamaica plans to tap into the thriving market for religious-oriented tourism to invigorate the island's sagging economy, government officials and business leaders said.

A new convention center, to be built by 2009, will attract some of the millions of travelers who attend religious conferences outside of their home countries, said Tourism Minister Edmund Bartlett. The global religious tourism market is an $18 billion-a-year industry with some 300 million travelers, according to the Colorado-based World Religious Travel Association.


Jamaica to tap into religious tourism - Yahoo! News

And those who can't . . .

A retired teacher admitted to not being able to read, write or spell during his 17-year teaching career at a California high school, according to a report.

John Corcoran managed to graduate high school and college without ever learning basic skills, 10News.com reported on Monday. Teachers passed Corcoran from grade to grade and disciplinary problems helped hide his lack of skills.

He cheated in high school by turning in other students' work, earning his diploma in 1956 from Palo Verde High School in Blythe, Calif.

"I couldn't read words but I could read the system and I could read people," Corcoran said.

Corcoran continued on his cheating path through college, using friends to take tests. He graduated in 1961 with a bachelor's degree in education from Texas Western College.

Years later after nearly two decades of teaching, Corcoran gave in and learned to read through a tutor.

Corcoran, an education advocate, is the author of two books, "The Teacher Who Couldn't Read" and "Bridge to Literacy."

"I believe that illiteracy in America is a form of child neglect and child abuse and the child is blamed and they carry the shame; if we just teach our people how to read we'd give them a fair chance," Corcoran said.


Former Teacher Admits to Teaching for 17 Years Without Ability to Read or Write - FOX News

No link, presumably

PETERBOROUGH, Ontario, Feb. 12 (UPI) -- A Welsh immigrant to Canada and his wife who had a rough first year farming sheep now have a thriving business making sex toys.

UPI.com

Just pleased to see you

Police in Sierra Leone have arrested a Briton who tried to board a flight to Europe with 2.2 lb of cocaine hidden down his trousers, a senior officer said on Tuesday.

Reuters.com

High priestess of chimpage

The world changed in 1960 when British 26-year-old Jane Goodall spent five months living a dream. She was conducting ethnographic research with chimpanzees in the Tanzanian-African jungle and her observations rocked the core of scientific belief of the time, namely the idea that humans are unique because they make tools; she showed that chimps do too. Her findings led to grave reconsiderations about what it means to be human. Now a household name around the world, Goodall spoke yesterday evening at Eötvös Loránd Tudományegyetem in Budapest to two overflowing auditoriums of more than 1,000 people. She urged audience members to use their brains, not give up on dreams, and preserve the environment for future generations.

Caboodle.hu

And the catafalque you rode in on

Drivers increasingly cut up funeral processions and make obscene gestures at hearses, funeral directors said on Tuesday.

Schoolchildren have even thrown stones at a horse-drawn coffin.

The National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors -- which organises 60 percent of the country's funerals -- said its members reported poor behaviour from drivers totally unsympathetic to the deceased's final journey.

"There is a disregard by many road users for the sanctity of the funeral cortege," said spokesman John Weir.

Reuters.com

Shaven or unshaven?

India's Supreme Court has issued a notice to a state-run airline asking it to explain why an air steward was sacked for wearing a big moustache.

Victor Joynath De was grounded by Indian - formerly called Indian Airlines- in 2001 for refusing to shave off his handlebar moustache.

MCN says: As you can see, his tache very usefully points to the emergency exits at the front and rear of the plane.

BBC NEWS

What would Jesus exfoliate?

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Want to use Jesus handcream? Well, you can't anymore. At least not in Singapore.

A Singapore-based retailer pulled a line of cheeky Jesus branded cosmetics from its shelves after complaints from irate Catholics, the local newspaper reported on Tuesday.

The cosmetics, called "Lookin' Good for Jesus", is made by American makeup company Blue Q. It was sold in three Topshop outlets in Singapore.

Link to story

Link to product range

Be on the lookout for thief who glows in the dark

LONDON (Reuters) - Police in central England are hunting for a badly scorched would-be copper power cable thief after finding a hacksaw embedded in an 11,000 volt power cable on Saturday night.

The thief, who also left a lit blow torch at the scene, is expected to be badly charred, spiky haired and not exactly the brightest bulb in the socket.

Reuters.com

Body in the bathtub -- for seven years

MCN says: This one deserves to be quoted in its entirety, it's so supremely nutty. Never mind the murderer(s) and the gakky garbage collectors who lived with a dead dude for years, what do we think of the property owners, who couldn't be bothered cleaning an apartment filled with human waste for six months?

 

A dried and decomposing body was found in a bathtub filled with dirt in a Phoenix apartment that was stacked to the ceiling with garbage and human waste.

Owners of the small, standalone unit thought it had been abandoned in August, when they stopped receiving rent payments, Phoenix police Sgt. Joel Tranter said Monday.

Tranter said the owners didn't decide to do anything about the filthy apartment until last week, when they paid other tenants in the complex to clean it out.

He said the cleaners began by removing garbage and boxes and buckets filled with human waste.

When they made their way to the bathroom Friday, they found the bathtub covered with plywood, a sheet, and plastic, and filled with dirt. When they started shoveling the dirt out, they found the leg of a body and called police, Tranter said.

He described the body as part skeleton and partly mummified, and that it had been there at least several years.

"Very unusual, very bizarre," Tranter said. "This guy was literally buried in the bathtub."

Police removed the tub with the body still inside and took it to the Maricopa County Medical Examiner's Office, which is conducting an autopsy.

Tranter said the body may be that of a man who rented the unit in 1995 and was last seen seven years ago. He said the property owners saw a man they didn't recognize at the unit four years ago and asked him who he was.

Tranter said the man identified himself as the original renter. The owners didn't push the issue and continued to receive rent checks.

That man has not been seen since August, and Tranter said police are looking for him.

CBS News

And write-offs for all those hit contracts

Some companies request tax deductions for philanthropy, others for restaurants bills. But one Israeli business tried to push the envelope by asking to deduct nearly $860,000 it paid in kickbacks.

A Tel Aviv district court rejected the petition on Feb. 8.

The business, whose name was withheld by the court, asked to deduct the sum for kickbacks that were paid to help spur a business deal. The Israeli daily Maariv reported that the deal took place in an unidentified African nation. The company alleged the kickback was necessary as a part of the local business custom and therefore should be exempted from the Israeli law.

CBS News

Free with 200 Rothman's

Passengers passing through Zurich airport can add a Formula One car to their usual duty-free shopping this month.

A selection of cars and memorabilia owned by Peter Sauber, whose Swiss-based team were taken over by BMW at the end of 2005, will be auctioned off at the airport over a six-week period from February 19.

Stuff.co.nz

Jinx monkeys

A group of red-faced monkeys that can mimic human laughter has been sighted in the mountain ranges of Sal-dab, a sacred mountain in Northern Mindanao, The STAR learned recently.

The monkey that mimics human voice is known to natives as Uma-ay and is believed to bring a curse on whoever sees it.

According to local folklore, whoever sees the creature will lose his way in the jungle or may encounter misfortune, accident or even death along the way.

ABS-CBN Interactive

At least she didn't go for a hug

A lawyer representing her husband in a drug case wound up in a prison cell herself after allegedly "taking the law into her own hands" and injuring an assistant U.S. attorney with a violent handshake in Florida, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported Friday.

After a hearing involving her husband Anthony, Kathy Brewer Rentas, 49, approached U.S. Assistant Attorney Jennifer Keene and insisted on shaking her hand. When she did, Brewer Rentas "forcefully grabbed onto Keene's right hand and squeezed it, pulling Keene toward her, forcing Keene off balance. With Keene in hand, Brewer made an upward, then a quick downward motion and pulled Keene toward the ground moving her forward, almost causing Keene to fall to the ground," U.S. Marshal Robert Kremenik wrote in a misdemeanor arrest report obtained by the Sun-Sentinel.


Attorney Accused of Trying to Injure Prosecutor With Handshake - FOX News

Monday, February 11

Clap for the wolfman?

A Pennsylvania man picked up for sexual assault tried to convince his teen victim and police that he was a supernatural werewolf/vampire combination, police told the Allentown Morning Call.

Kristian Allen Carl, 19, believed he was a hybrid – part werewolf and part vampire – and that he had a guardian dragon that "protected him from evildoers," police told the paper.

Carl was charged with statutory sexual assault after admitting he had sex with the victim, 15, after meeting her the previous night and convincing her that he was the bizarre creature, the Morning Call reported.


Man Charged With Sex Assault - FOX News

Presidential beard length race kicks off

DELAWARE, Ohio -- Gentlemen, start your beards.

Men have begun a beard-growing competition that's partly a presidential look-alike contest as this central Ohio city celebrates its 200th birthday.

The current, clean-shaven resident of the White House isn't the inspiration. Instead, it's the nation's 19th president, Rutherford B. Hayes, born in Delaware in 1822 and typically pictured with long, wiry whiskers.

The competitors all started Sunday with clean slates. They were photographed with shaved chins and obtained permits to register in the contest, to be judged July 5.

Ray Blinn, 60, is growing his very first beard for the contest.

"Too bad they don't have the scruffy, mountain-man category, because that's probably going to be what I look like," Blinn said.

There will not only be a prize for the best resemblance to Hayes, but also others in categories including longest, neatest and most unusual beards.

MiamiHerald.com

And from MCN: Here's a picture of President Hayes, just in case you'd forgotten.

Piglet born with heart-shaped spots

 

Daily Mail

Still time to send a card

TULSA, Okla. (AP) - A toy donation will be enough to earn admission into the Tulsa Zoo this week, as the park holds a birthday celebration for a chimpanzee.

The chimp named Vindi will be celebrating her first birthday this week, and the zoo is making it a weeklong event. It will be capped Saturday, when hidden cupcakes and other surprises will be in store for Vindi.

Link

Bunch of tossers

FARGO, N.D. -- This feast was for the record books, and it only took 34,818 pancakes to get there.

Thousands of people, including an official with Guinness World Records, escaped the bone-chilling winter weather on Saturday for the 50th anniversary of The Kiwanis Club's Pancake Karnival fundraiser.

Grillers flipped flapjacks and served them with sausages and orange juice for most of the day until they more than surpassed the 30,724 pancakes served in 2002 by the Lubbock, Texas, Lions Club.

"We're officially the largest pancake feed in the world," Matt Sullivan, president of The Kiwanis Club, said Sunday.

MiamiHerald.com

Sunday, February 10

Hair to the Chief

PHILADELPHIA -- It might be the strangest way to spend Presidents Day.

For the first time, The Academy of Natural Sciences is displaying a scrapbook that has locks of hair from the first 12 U.S. presidents. It will be on view Feb. 16-18.

The presidential "hair album" was assembled by Peter Arvell Browne, a Philadelphia attorney and scholar of the natural sciences who collected thousands of samples of animal fur and human hair in the 1840s and 1850s and organized them in a dozen leather-bound volumes.

Browne also wrote to presidents still living during his lifetime - 1762-1860 - and to the families of those who had died. His letters and their responses are included in the book along with the strands of hair.

MiamiHerald.com

Old ads

Some ancient advertisements from the happy days before PC-gone-mad made it "rude' to "offend" people.

Lifted from Crooked Brains.

Past its sell-by date

An online bidding war is taking place for a five-year-old Wispa bar.

Student Rebecca Wells, from Stoke-on-Trent, found the out-of-date Cadbury bar down the back of a sofa.

She has put it up for auction on the eBay site to raise money for the charity LAM Action, which funds research into a fatal lung disease.

BBC NEWS

UPDATE: An online auction for a five-year-old Wispa bar has been called off after the winning bid was declared void.

Link

Hey hey we're the monks

A major record label is on the lookout for a group of monks to record an album of Gregorian chants.

Universal Music, behind artists including Amy Winehouse, is advertising in religious publications for "monks, men of the cloth and sacred singers".

Interested parties are being asked to send in audition tapes.

BBC NEWS

Filed under: Kuwait crime news

Runaway monkeys spread panic

Kuwait : Three monkeys, which allegedly escaped from the zoo in Omariya, spread panic among residents of a house in Al-Qurain, reports Al-Rai daily.
Firefighters rushed to the house, captured the monkeys and returned them to the zoo.

Arab Times

Crash-ew nuts

Eight monkeys were shaken up, and one seriously injured, in an accident early yesterday along Interstate 95 in Harford County.

The monkeys were being held two to a cage in a trailer behind a van when the collision occurred about 4:35 a.m., authorities said.

baltimoresun.com

Second-hand cheese

Police are preparing to arrest a man who killed a pet mouse by grabbing it from its shocked woman owner and biting its head.

Stuff.co.nz

Saturday, February 9

Fight to the finish

A heated argument between a man and woman got them both killed and sparked a multi-car crash, after they took their fight on to a busy highway, Canadian police have said.

The man and woman were fighting in a taxi as they drove down the TransCanada Highway on Thursday, when the woman told the driver to stop at the side of the road. She then got out of the vehicle, followed by her companion.

The two, who were both believed to be drunk, where hit almost immediately by several vehicles and killed.

Stuff.co.nz

Cosa Nutstra

NEW YORK (AFP) — US and Italian authorities launched a massive operation against the New York and Sicilian Mafia Thursday, arresting more than 80 suspects in a sweep described as a major blow against organized crime.

Prosecutors in New York unveiled a 170-page indictment against 62 individuals detailing murder, racketeering, loan sharking, conspiracy, drugs and extortion charges for crimes going back as far as the 1970s.

The sweep netted 61 alleged members of three of the five families that run the Mafia in New York -- the Gambino, Genovese, and Bonanno families.

Among those facing charges were top Gambino leaders including acting boss John D'Amico, also known as "Jackie the Nose," acting underboss Domenico "The Greaseball" Cefalu and consigliere Joseph "Miserable" Corozzo.

Not to mention Salvatore "Dopey" Maggio, Enzo "Bashful" Paggia and Aldo "Sneezy" Garragio.

AFP: US-Italian raids net top Mafia bosses

Joisey nuts

n

Much more from Barstool Sports

The odd couple

A baby hippopotamus that survived the tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise in an animal facility in the port city of Mombassa , officials said The hippopotamus, nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms (650 pounds), was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean, then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a 'mother'," ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park , told AFP.

See Link for amazing pictures

Mean streets

KIRKWALL, Scotland, Feb. 8 (UPI) -- Police in the Orkney Islands north of Scotland are dealing with a crime wave -- at least four cars stolen since Jan. 1.

Investigators say the thieves' modus operandi is simple -- they get into unlocked vehicles and turn keys that have been left conveniently, if carelessly, in the ignition and then they drive away. The thieves are believed to be people on their way home from the pub, taking the dishonest way out of walking in the cold.

UPI.com

Telly before nookie

Nearly half of British men surveyed would give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV, a survey - perhaps unsurprisingly carried out for a firm selling televisions - has found.

Stuff.co.nz

MCN says: So they'd sacrifice one shag, maybe two. What's the big deal? It's understandable, given that there's a slim outside chance there might be something decent on during that six months.

Till not even death do us part

CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian man was convicted on Saturday of killing his wife and then hiding her body in a metal drum in his garage for 23 years.

Reuters.com

At least it's not broccoli

One of the strangest meal-times in the animal kingdom has been caught on film by a BBC crew.

The team recorded footage of a female worm-like amphibian, called a caecilian, allowing her young to peel off and eat her skin.

Scientists have only recently discovered this bizarre parental behaviour.

The female caecilian's skin becomes thicker and more nutrient-rich when she bears offspring.

And the young have specialised teeth for tearing and removing it.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature

No more nuts for Ah Meng

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Ah Meng, an iconic orangutan of the Singapore Zoo who featured in almost 30 travel films and rubbed shoulders with movie stars and royalty, died on Friday of old age, the Singapore Zoo said. She was around 48.

Singapore Zoo will hold a special memorial on Sunday as a tribute to the orangutan, a star at the zoo for the past quarter-century after the "breakfast with Ah Meng" programme was launched, the zoo said in a statement.

"She has touched the hearts of everyone who has met her and contributed immensely in helping promote awareness of how each and every one of us can play a role in anti-poaching, anti-deforestation and conservation matters," said Fanny Lai, group chief executive of Wildlife Reserves Singapore.

"We will miss her dearly."

Reuters