Sunday, April 20

Americans have thick skulls -- official

Police investigators would theorize that the man fired three shots from a gun that they believe was a .44-caliber handgun. One of the bullets struck Marie directly between the eyes.

It should have killed her. Instead, the bullet shattered into three pieces against her skull. The fragments ran under her skin, exited through her cheek on one side of her head and near her ear on the other.

TODAYshow.com

Friday, April 18

The Queen's well wicked English innit

A 19-year-old Saaarf London girl has been advised to use the Queen's English on the phone after her hunt for a cab to whisk her to Bristol airport ended less than satisfactorily.

According to the Daily Mail, the unnamed teen rang directory enquiries two weeks ago and initially requested a number for a "Joe Baxi" firm. The nonplussed operator told her she couldn't find anyone by that name, to which the lass replied: “It ain’t a person, it’s a cab, innit.”

The enlightened operator duly put her through to Bishop’s Stortford-based retail display supplier Displaysense, where she "spoke to an equally bemused saleswoman" before thundering: “Look love, how hard is it? All I want is your cheapest cab, innit. I need it for 10am. How much is it?”

The answer was £180, and with the deal done by credit card, Displaysense obliged by delivering a display cabinet to her door the next morning.

Cue second phone chat with Displaysense. The company's marketing manager, Steve Whittle, recounted: "We thought it was a joke at first but the girl was absolutely livid. Because she spoke in 'Ali G' style slang, her order was mixed up somewhat. She was absolutely baffled as to why she had a big glass display cabinet delivered outside her house, when all she wanted was a taxi to take her on holiday.

"We apologised and gladly offered the young lady a refund on the display unit she received and suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone."

Whittle concluded: "We still don't know if she made it to the airport on time but she did ask our delivery driver if he could give her a lift." ®

London teen orders 'cab, innit' | The Register

Tuesday, April 8

Tiggywinkle Terminator

A man accused of lobbing a hedgehog at a boy has been charged with assault.

Cops claim William Singalargh used the animal as a weapon in a bizarre attack on the 15-year-old in Whakatane, New Zealand, in February.

Senior police sergeant Bruce Jenkins said: "It hit the victim in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks."

Mirror.co.uk

Sunday, April 6

My humps, my lovely lady lumps

Ten thousand camels will be fluttering their long eyelashes in a unique international beauty pageant being held in the United Arab Emirates.

The contest in Abu Dhabi is one of the richest and biggest events of its kind, with more than $9m (£4.5m; 5.8m euros) and 100 cars in prizes up for grabs.

BBC NEWS

The high life

A nine-year old boy has been returned to his home in Indonesia after a five-day spending spree that cost his parents $10,000 (£5,043).

Ahmad Legal Civiandi, known as Vian, disappeared from his home last Friday and spent the cash on toys and gadgets.

He later asked a rickshaw driver to book him into a hotel and it was the driver who told police where he was.

BBC NEWS

Friday, April 4

Newman!

Funnyman Jerry Seinfeld cheated death in the Hamptons when the brakes on his vintage Fiat failed and the car flipped over, police said yesterday.

Miraculously, the comic walked away "without a scratch," wife Jessica told The Post.

New York Post