Smurf Boxer Told to Smurf Off by Smurfs

IBF middleweight champion Arthur Abraham was served with a cease-and-desist order from attorneys for Papa Smurf and his plethora of illegitimate children. Abraham was known as the Smurf Boxer because he would enter the ring to the Smurf theme song while wearing Smurf apparel and being accompanied by scantily clad Smurfette impersonators (unlike the real Smurfette, these Smurfette impersonators have breasts and camel toes). Speaking on condition of anonymity, a member of the Smurf family said of Papa Smurf, "He was royally Smurfed when he saw that Smurfing boxer Smurf into the ring with those Smurfing whores. Papa (Smurf) said someone should Smurf that guy in the ass, because he looked like he needed a good ass Smurfin'. Smurf that. If you ask me, he needs a good skull Smurfin' after he Smurfs my dick." Now competing as The Artist Formerly Known as the Smurf Boxer, Abraham could not be reached for comment.