Ramses Moves to Suburbs

After more than 50 years of living the wild life in Cairo, Egypt, the 3,200-year-old statue of Pharoh Ramses II sold his prime real estate in Ramses Square and moved to a quaint little plot closer to where he grew up near the Great Pyramids.

The 83-tonne statue was escorted by a convoy of 1,500 soldiers for his move, which lasted a full 10 hours. One soldier, when asked why so many people were necessary for the relatively short move, was quoted as saying, "Dude's got a lot of shit."

Ramses' new home, near the site of the future Grand Museum of Egypt, is reported to be a six-bedroom, four-bathroom ranch with central air conditioning, hardwood floors, slab-granite kitchen countertops and main-floor laundry.

"I think that today if Ramses could talk, he would say 'Thank you for moving me,' " Grand Museum antiquities chief Zahi Hawass told state-run television in an interview scripted by the state.

Ramses, reportedly dead since 1225 B.C., could not be reached for comment.